London trip (November 2012)

London trip (November 2012)

I love going back to London, there is always so much going on.

Katy and I fancied seeing the Pre-Raphaelite exhibition at Tate Britain, so decided to treat ourselves and include a visit to the theatre to see War Horse.

We set off on the train, and arrived at the Imperial Hotel around lunch time. The hotel was surprisingly good, and had fabulous views over Russell Square to the Post Office Tower.

Getting to the Tate was a nightmare. Although it was only seven stops on the underground, what with the tube changes and the walking from Pimlico to the gallery, we spent another hour travelling around the city, just to get across London. We had a timed ticket, so as we arrived with time to spare we searched out the Tate’s café. Although it was a Tuesday in November, the café was packed. We had to queue for our food, and then wait for a table. Not impressed.

At three o’clock we were allowed in to see the artworks. As we had paid £12 each for timed tickets, I was looking forward to a leisurely stroll around the paintings, but rather like the café, it was packed! Each painting had around twenty people stood in front of it, so I either had to push my way in, or wait for a gap to appear. After struggling to see anything, or read the accompanying text, I began to get a headache. Now I never get headaches, but I got a real ding dong of a headache here, which got worse, as I got jostled around the milling crowd. Eventually I had to give up and went to sit down in an area of the Tate which is free to enter. Oddly, there was no one in here, even though the art was almost as good! Katy was also feeling tired, so we decided to abandon the Tate, and head to Covent Garden for our theatre treat. I couldn’t face the underground again, so we found one bus that took us back to Oxford Circus, and another bus which got us to Holborn. This turned out to be a smart move, as the first bus went up Regent Street, and we were able to see the splendid Christmas lights.

We arrived in Covent Garden, and found a nice pub with food to while away the time before curtain up. Still suffering with my headache, I went for a salmon tagliatelle and a glass of chardonnay. Unfortunately, my salmon was covered in black pepper with fought with the wine, and made my headache even worse. I had to abandon both and set off in search of a chemist selling anadins!

My headache had just about abated as we settled down to watch War Horse, which was an incredible production. (See separate review).

After the show we walked back to our room at the hotel, and enjoyed the fabulous views of the capital at night.

Breakfast at the hotel was good, and after a leisurely morning, we headed home. Our train to York was running late, so we missed our connection home, and were delayed by an hour. C’est la vie!

War Horse theatre review (London)

War Horse theatre review (London)

 I have heard so many good things about this show that it’s been on my wish list for the last five years. I finally made the effort to secure a ticket and was blown away by the sheer theatricality of the event. Theatre is a magical place where imagination quickly replaces reality so within minutes of Joey the foal appearing on stage, I was mesmerised. Although Joey is no more than a puppet controlled by three girls, everyone in the New London Theatre believed that he was a real horse.

Later when Joey appears as a full grown stallion and reared up on his hind legs, I was awe-struck at such an amazing sight. I was sitting in the third row, and so close to the action, that Joey seemed to be twenty feet tall! Joey was now controlled by three men who were just brilliant at conveying Joey’s heart and soul.

Joey, of course, goes to war and this is where the story begins. He fights, he swaps sides, he gets hurt, and we, the audience believe everything thanks to brilliant acting, wonderful storytelling, and fabulous staging.

When the show ends, everyone in the audience was on their feet, with tears pouring down their face.

If you love theatre, you must see War Horse, and as it’s touring in 2013, you’ve no reason not to.

See it, you’ll love it!

10/10

Blackpool (Sept 2012)

Blackpool (Sept 2012)

I waited 64 years before my first visit to Blackpool. People said “You should go, you’ll enjoy it”. So I did, and I didn’t!

The hotel was disappointing, and about three miles from the main attractions, and the weather was awful. Strong winds, sleeting rain and bitterly cold.

As we’d never been to Blackpool before, we asked for a map at the hotel, and were bluntly told “we don’t have any”.

So we headed to the Tourist Information opposite the Tower. It was closed. The rain was so heavy we decided to take shelter in a hotel in the hope of a pot of tea. The hotel we went in was even worse than our own, with tables full of dirty plates and long queues for the café. The bad weather seemed a better prospect, so we set off again. Our next stop was a seedy bar, where we were told we could only enter if we handed over £6. We declined, and went back out into the rain. Next stop was Blackpool’s iconic Tower. What a dive! Dirty, shabby, sticky, dark and dingy and overpriced. The only saving grace was the ballroom, which looked rather good (no doubt, because they film Strictly Come Dancing there).

We knew of an art gallery nearby, and decided to go there next. We got lost several times, and got colder and wetter. When we finally found the gallery, it was closed!

So, we set off back to the hotel for a cup of stew. (We ordered tea, but it was more like stew!).

We decided to cheer ourselves up with a tour of the lights after dinner on a tour bus. The traffic was awful, so our driver took us round all the back streets, and by the time he got to the illuminations, the bus windows had all steamed up. What little bit of the lights we did see were nothing special, although the Bispham tableaux weren’t too bad.

The following day was better, as the rain finally relented, still cold though!

We went back to the Grundy art gallery, which was a treat, and the highlight of the weekend. There had installed a nine hole crazy golf in the gallery, with different statues on each hole. Hitler was there, Saddam Hussein, builder’s bums, grave stones, desert islands and more. The most fun I’ve ever had in an art gallery and highly recommended. We later went to the Winter Gardens for a coffee, another venue well worth a visit.

The tram system in Blackpool is great, once you get the hang of it, and free to over 60’s.

Maybe if the weather had been better, Blackpool may have appealed more, but I don’t think I’ll be rushing back anytime soon.

Martin.

Norbreck Castle Hotel (Blackpool)

 

Norbreck Castle Hotel (Blackpool)

This hotel looks quite impressive from the outside, but sadly the interior is really rather shabby.

As the largest hotel in Blackpool, I understand that coach parties are the only way forward for such a hotel, but with volume, comes lack of service. Queues to check in, overcrowding, and poor service are the norm. Our room was tiny, cold and unwelcoming. The windows were frosted, so we had no view, and the heating only came on between 6pm and 8pm. The bed was hard, and facilities were poor.

In the bar/café area, everywhere was sticky and grubby, with lots of uncleared tables. The carpets and chairs were threadbare, and our cup of tea was stewed and undrinkable.

Toilets in the public areas were best avoided.

We upgraded to a dinner in the Boston restaurant, and to be fair, the food was good, and so was the service.

Breakfast was fair, but the plates were cold, even though the sign advised caution: hot plates!

Checking out was a nightmare as several coach parties all crammed into the reception area, so there was nowhere left to sit and wait.

4/10

Phantom of the opera review (Leeds)

Phantom of the opera review (Leeds)

The problem with seeing a big show in The West End or Broadway is that you will never be satisfied with anything less.

I saw Phantom on Broadway in 2004 and it simply blew me away. Unfortunately, the production in Leeds was never going to get close to that incredible evening in New York.

Of course, Phantom is really about the music and the singing and orchestration was spot on. The disappointment was with the staging, which was sometimes good, but sometimes average. The emotion of the piece was also lacking in parts, and only really got going in the last ten minutes.

However if you’ve never seen Phantom, it’s well worth a visit, but if you’ve already seen this masterpiece, then give this version a miss.

7/10

Martin.

Funny Peculiar review (Cheltenham)

Funny Peculiar is about as funny as toothache. What the producers were thinking when they resurrected this old dinosaur, I have no idea. If you get a laugh out of gay vicars, or young people with special needs, or frustrated old ladies, then you might enjoy it, otherwise give this one a wide swerve.

There is even a custard pie scene in this grim offering, which would not be out of place in a Chuckle Brothers pantomime!

Laugh? I thought I’d never start. I didn’t.

A hard days night in Liverpool.

A Hard Day’s Night in Liverpool.

Having just spent a couple of days in this fab city, thanks to a recent competition win, I now know what The Beatles meant, when they sang about a hard day’s night!

My entry was picked out from over 1,200 entries, and I won an overnight stay at The Beatles themed hotel, with free tickets to Tate Liverpool’s latest exhibition.

My wife, Katy, and I hit the ground running, literally scampering across the road from busy Lime Street Station to St George’s hall opposite. We were keen to see the 30,000 Minton tiles which cover the floor, and are protected for most of the time and only unveiled every ten years or so. We were lucky that they had just been uncovered, at a cost of £18,000, just five days earlier! This was an amazing sight, which would easily match anything you could see anywhere in Europe. Jaw dropping, and then some! The tiles, every one hand crafted, feature incredible patterns, boys on dolphins, sea nymphs, Liver birds, and much more. A truly spectacular start to the holiday.

After getting our breath back in the café, we walked round the corner to The World Museum. This is one of my favourite museums anywhere in the country, and I was looking forward to seeing the “Age of the Dinosaur” exhibition. This incredible show features six animatronic dinosaurs, which are very lifelike, and a little scary! Fab fun though, and well worth the visit.

A short walk took us to our hotel, The Hard Day’s Night hotel, the only Beatles themed hotel in the world! We were escorted to our room, and shown how all the high tech gismos worked. The room was terrific, although having a larger than life size picture of Ringo staring down at us was rather disconcerting! I put on the TV, only to hear that famous suspended G7 chord twang out, the most famous chord in rock and roll history, followed by John Lennon singing “It’s been a hard day’s night, and I’ve been working like a dog”. Terrific. I listened to the song three times before I put it off. Interestingly if you look at the chord notation for this infamous chord, it looks like the Beatles on stage! Check it out on www.harddaysnighthotel.com if you don’t believe me!

Refreshed, we made our way to the Albert Docks and Tate Liverpool. Our prize included free tickets for the “Alice in Wonderland” exhibition. It was incredible to see Lewis Carroll’s original manuscript for this classic book, and all the prehistory was fascinating. The early pictures were astonishing, and we both thoroughly enjoyed the first half of the exhibition. The second half which was much more surreal, and not to our taste, but overall, we felt enriched by our visit. Running late we scooted round the rest of the Tate, as it was almost closing time.

We headed to Liverpool One, the largest city centre regeneration in Europe, which Katy was delighted to discover was open till 8pm. I was dropped off in the husband crèche, while Mrs Dove went shopping.

Ready for some food we made our way upstairs to a fabulous Thai restaurant, Yee Rah. We treated ourselves to a fine bottle of Chardonnay and some excellent food. A couple of local students at the next table ordered a mixed grill to share, and I’ve never seen anything like it. It was served vertically, and must have been eighteen inches high. The students were equally amazed, and took loads of photographs to show to their friends. I commented that it looked better than some of the installations at the Tate!

Slightly tipsy after the wine, we headed to Matthew Street for the highlight of day one, The Cavern Club. We were lucky to get seats right at the front, and stayed for nearly three hours. We knew every song that that the Lennon lookalike sang, and we sang our hearts out along with him throughout the night. There was a great atmosphere in the club, was full of Americans. One guy, from Chicago, requested a song, and ended up singing on stage. When the artiste asked for the gentleman’s name, he answered “Dick”. “Can I call you Richard?” our man enquired. “Well you can if you like, but I prefer Dick!” Katy and I found this hilarious, but maybe you had to be there to appreciate it. The highlight of my wife’s night was when the singer sang “When I’m 64” just for me. (My age this year).

Luckily our hotel was nearby, as we were tired out, and were in danger of losing our voices.

The following morning, we both felt worse for wear, and tucked into a proper English breakfast, with lots of cups of tea. We had a busy day planned, but decided to just concentrate on the one outing, which was somewhere we have always wanted to visit, Port Sunlight. This pretty village is situated on the other side of The River Mersey, so we took advantage of the speedy Merseyrail to get there.

The weather was fantastic for January, and we were able to explore the whole village with the aid of a tourist map, purchased from the local museum, which was fascinating. The highlight of the day was looking round the Lady Lever art gallery, one of the best galleries I’ve ever been in, and I’ve been in plenty. Many of my favourite artists have their work on display here, including Waterhouse, Millais and Holman Hunt. My favourite paintings were “Bubbles”, with its links to the soap industry and Lord Lever, and “The Scapegoat”, which is such a haunting image.

Having enjoyed afternoon tea at the gallery, we made our way back to the city centre exhausted, and with aching feet. We had planned all sorts for the afternoon, but ended up back at the hotel resting in the lobby.

And then it was time to go home. A hard day’s night was had by both of us, and we loved every single minute!

Paris diary

Saturday 2 Oct

After setting half a dozen different alarms, Katy and I managed to get out of bed at 5.30am. We caught the 7.04 train to York, where we had only 9 minutes to make our connection to London, Kings Cross. We treated ourselves to First Class all the way, and enjoyed the journey to London with great anticipation of our next leg of the trip, the Eurostar to Paris.

We allowed plenty of time to walk the short distance from Kings Cross to St. Pancras, and waited patiently to be called for our train. Before we could say zut alors, we were on our way, and quickly transported under the Channel Tunnel, and soon gazing at French fields on a glorious autumnal day. The trip to Paris only took a little over two hours, and we arrived without incident at Gare du Nord station in the heart of the French capital. We took an incredibly crowded metro to the Champs-Elysees, where our hotel was situated. We stayed at the Warwick Champs-Elysees, a few short steps from Paris’ most famous avenue. We were immediately upgraded to a Deluxe room, and we were soon relaxing on our balcony enjoying the sights and sounds of Paris.

Fully refreshed we were soon strolling down the Avenue des Champs-Elysees, which the French call “the most beautiful avenue in the world”. We were headed for the River Seine as we had pre-booked a dinner cruise. We arrived nice and early, and were one of the first to board. The cruise included live music, a four course meal and wine. We sat between a honeymoon couple from America, and a mother and daughter from Scotland celebrating a birthday. The food was good, but the service rather random. There was plenty of wine though, and we all got very drunk. The cruise was great, and the live music seemed to match the sights, for example “Ave Maria” as we passed Notre Dame, and “New York, New York”, as we passed the replica Statue of Liberty. We staggered off the boat at around 11.30pm hugging and kissing everyone as we left. Katy and I had decided to visit the Musee d’Orsay, as we had heard that it was open all night. We headed off in the wrong direction, but serendipitously found ourselves right under the Eiffel Tower at the stroke of midnight just as it began to sparkle with glittering silver lights, a truly magical way to see the start of our Ruby wedding anniversary.

Once the Tower stopped shimmering, we tried again to find the metro that would take us to the museum. We found it, but ended up on the wrong platform. Luckily for us, a kindly Frenchman shouted to us asking us where we were going, and urged us to run over the bridge as the train was coming. He even held the doors open for us as we raced across as quickly as we could. We were amazed to find that the metro train was a double-decker, something I have never seen before.

We alighted at the correct stop, but to our disappointment the museum was firmly closed. I had read that this night was Nuit Blanche, a night when all galleries and museums stayed open till dawn. Unfortunately for us, this was not the case. We strolled back over one of The Seine’s many bridges, and paused to admire the Eiffel Tower, still brilliantly illuminated, and dominating the Paris skyline. We took an incredibly crowded metro back to the Champs-Elysees, which was just as busy as it had been earlier in the day. We got back to our hotel at 1.30am, some twenty hours after our adventure started, and fell asleep as soon as our heads hit the pillows.

Sunday 3 Oct

Our 40^th wedding anniversary!

After a leisurely breakfast at our hotel, Katy and I walked to the Paris Hilton to meet up with Rob.  The three of us then made our way via metro and bus to the Bois de Boulogne. It was a gloriously warm October day, and we had gone to see the most prestigious horse race in Europe “The Prix de l’Arc de Triomphe”, at Longchamp racecourse. Unfortunately we didn’t back the winner of the big race, but we got to see some fine horses, and a few famous owners and trainers. The atmosphere was terrific, with music, marching bands, chic ladies in amazing hats, and colourfully dressed French men.

After the racing was over we got an incredibly crowded bus back to the metro station, and the three of us went back to our hotel, where we relaxed on our balcony with cold drinks.
In the evening we strolled up and down the Champs-Elysees looking for somewhere to eat. We settled on L’Alsace restaurant. This popular eatery, which never closes, features turn of the century décor, bevelled mirrors and wood panelling, and of course, great French cuisine. Rob generously paid the bill, and then we explored some of the elaborate car showrooms, which are numerous on Paris’ most famous avenue.
We ended the night at a British themed pub, just opposite our hotel.

Monday 4 Oct

After breakfast Katy and I took the metro to Les Tuileries, Paris’ most central park. The Tuileries are part of a grand central axis leading from the Louvre all the way to La Defense, the city’s business district. The gardens were wonderfully peaceful and quiet, and we had lunch here, a hot ham and cheese sandwich, which one of the locals had recommended to us.

In the afternoon we went on a coach trip around the Parisian landmarks. We sat upstairs and got great views of Les Invalides, the Eiffel Tower, The Arc de Triomphe, Notre Dame Cathedral, and of course the River Seine, as we crossed over one bridge, and back over another. The tour, complete with commentary, took almost two hours, and was a great way to see all of Paris’ best attractions.

After the tour of Paris, we headed off to the George Pompidou centre, and on the way we stopped off at a modern shopping precinct, which was all below ground. We enjoyed a simple dinner in a café on the bottom floor, followed by a Haagen Daaz ice cream for dessert, at one of Paris’ many ice cream parlours. We didn’t stay long at the George Pompidou, as we had booked theatre tickets for the evening, and were running out of time.

We travelled back to our hotel on the metro, and spent a little time relaxing before making our way to the Lido. The Lido has been a venue for the finest shows with the most famous names since 1946. We saw the review “Bonheur”, which translates simply as happiness, and is about one woman’s search for happiness. This fantastic show features the famous Bluebell Girls, and the Lido Boy Dancers. There are 70 artistes, 23 sets, and 600 sumptuous costumes. Some of the breathtaking scenes included an ice rink, daredevil acrobats and a real live horse on stage. There was a magician who just blew me away, and the evening was truly magical in every way.

Later, back at our hotel, we were reflecting on a fabulous day, when the fire alarm went off! Katy and I, along with a dozen or so other guests, trooped down five flights of emergency stairs in our complimentary fluffy dressing gowns and slippers. Unfortunately this exit did not take us directly to street, but instead took us through a very seedy hookah lounge, where teenagers and students were happily getting stoned on marijuana! The smokers will probably never recover from the sight of a bunch of bleary-eyed adults bursting into their bar dressed in white robes and mules. We eventually made our way out to the street, and found the hotel doing business as usual. The alarm had been triggered by accident, so we returned to our rooms for a good nights sleep. However, I had some very strange dreams about our adventures in hokahland!

Tuesday 5 Oct

We checked out of our hotel after breakfast, and had one final stroll along the Champs-Elysees. We looked in car showrooms, and designer clothes shops, and stopped to admire the Grand Palais, where queues were forming to look at the Claude Monet exhibition. We didn’t have time to spare to join the lengthy queues, so instead we popped into Artcurial, an auction house covering all areas of the art market. After admiring the many works of art on show, we enjoyed lunch in their modern, trendy café. After lunch we walked all the way up to The Arc de Triomphe, the world’s largest triumphal arch.

We made our way back to the Warwick hotel, where the concierge hailed us a taxi to the railway station. Eurostar quickly transported us back to London, where another cab took us to Rob’s house in Highgate.

In the evening Rob and Kate took us to The Flask for dinner. This traditional pub is famous for it’s quirky rooms, nooks and crannies. After dinner we walked to the nearby Gatehouse, which famously has it’s own theatre upstairs. We ended our mini Highgate pub-crawl at The Red Lion and Sun with a whisky or two.

Later, back at Rob and Kate’s, we watched a replay of Sunday’s big race “The Prix de l’Arc de Triomphe”, before retiring to bed.

Cheltenham 2012

CHELTENHAM DIARY: MARCH 2012

Monday

I drove from Scarborough down to Bibury in Gloucestershire, which took around six hours, including breaks.

Met up with Rob and Kate at the imposing Swan Hotel where we were booked in for the week. We enjoyed a stroll round Bibury, which was once described by William Morris as “the most beautiful village in England.” Indeed, sauntering along by the River Coln, admiring the black swans, it was hard not to be impressed by this prettiest of places. We ended our walk at The Catherine Wheel, enjoying an early evening drink sitting around a crackling log fire.

Back at the hotel I booked into my room, which was very well appointed, and enjoyed a splendid view of the river, and the neighboring trout farm.
Later on, Rob, Kate and I dined in the hotel restaurant, and relaxed in the comfortable lounge with a drink or two.

Tuesday

As our hotel was around twenty miles away from the racecourse, we had to hire a taxi to take us there. The driver certainly knew his way around the country lanes, however a pheasant flew straight into our windscreen as we were travelling at speed, and the poor bird perished instantly. The driver accepted it as the norm, and carried on unperturbed.
He dropped us about a mile away from the track, as it was just so busy and we joined the faithful on the trek to the entrance.
55,000 racegoers packed into the course, certainly the most crowded racecourse that I have ever been too. I was surprised to see the actor, Nat Parker, arriving on a bicycle, but considering how busy the car parks were, maybe this wasn’t such a bad idea. Luckily for us Rob had been before, and steered us to a quieter part of the track on the inside. We were even able to find a chair to sit on, and a table for our beef burgers and tea, which we bought from a nearby takeaway van.
Before I knew it, it was time for the first race, which of course is always preceded by the famous Cheltenham roar. I found this to be highly emotional, and a terrific send off for the horses and their riders.
From our vantage point in the middle of the track we enjoyed some fabulous views of top flight horses, and world class jockeys. As the day progressed, we saw hurdlers and steeplechasers straining every muscle to jump superbly, and come up the final hill in front.
Unluckily for me I didn’t back a winner all day, so had very little to cheer on.
Late in the afternoon, it came in quite chilly so we made our way back to the main enclosure. We tried to get into the Guinness village, but this was a heaving mass of drunks, who seemed as if they were rooted to the spot. Money kept changing hands, and pints of Guinness in plastic glasses appeared, but the bar was around fifty deep, and seemed like hell on earth, so we shuffled out without getting a drink.
We decided not to stay for the last race, and set off for a pub that Rob remembered from a previous visit. This was The Plough, a popular pub with racegoers, which has been in the same place since 1623! The bar itself was very busy, but we found seats in the marquee outside, where we tucked into an evening meal, and sank a few ales.
On the way back to the hotel, our taxi driver told us that three horses had been killed that day on the track, which was sad news indeed.
Later, back at the hotel, I enjoyed a couple of whisky macs around a traditional log fire.

Wednesday

An uneventful taxi ride into Cheltenham today, and no birds were killed. We still had the long walk to the course, and were relentlessly approached by ticket touts most of the way. I did accept a complimentary betfair scarf though. It was bright yellow, and made of polyester, but I was glad of it later, when the temperature dropped. At the course, Rob bumped into one of his friends, Dan, who had a horse entered in the Coral Cup at 4 o’clock. I’m sorry to say that his horse fell and was fatally injured.
I managed to back my first winner today, Bob’s Worth in the RSA chase at odds of 9/2. This was to be my only winner though, so I ended up with another losing day. We spent most of the day in the middle of the course again, but moved back to the stands area as it got colder. The Guinness village still looked like the bowels of hell so we headed to the Centaur bar. Although it was really busy, we were able to get a drink, and even a sit down!
We left before the last race, and headed into the town centre. This involved a two mile walk, and at regular intervals we were given flyers for bars and restaurants, we were approached by more ticket touts, heard countless buskers, including a homeless long haired tramp playing a drum and singing out of tune. Charity boxes were thrust in our faces, and thousands of racegoers were in party mode. The pubs in Cheltenham were heaving, with just as many punters outside each bar, as there were inside. Rather like the Bigg Market in Newcastle late on a Saturday night! Amazingly we found a bar where we got to sit down, so we ordered some food along with our drinks. This was the Copa bar, a stylish, comfortable real ale pub. Later we got the taxi back to Bibury.

Thursday

Rob decided to drive to the races today, and we parked a couple of miles away from the track. We crossed a field, and headed up the familiar road to the racecourse. I was amused to see that many local residents were allowing cars to park in their spacious driveways, for a fee of course. I reckon they could easily make around £200 for providing this service over the four days.
I managed to back the first winner, Sir Des Champs, but it turned out to be my only winning bet all day.
For some reason we were not allowed into the centre of the track today, so we stayed paddock side. It was considerably colder than the previous days, so Kate and I headed inside for a hot drink, while Rob braved the weather to watch the horses in the parade ring.
We left before the last race, and headed back to the car on foot. This turned out to be far quicker that actually parking at the racecourse car park, as I later read that it took two hours to exit from the crowded car park!
We drove straight back to Bibury, and enjoyed an excellent meal back at the hotel, with a glass or two of port to end a splendid day.

Friday

I had work commitments in Warwick, so I was unable to attend Gold Cup day.
I later heard from Rob that the hotel had been burgled the previous evening, and Kate had had some money stolen. An unfortunate end to a fabulous week.

Dreamboats and Petticoats review (Scarborough)

It's impossible not to like Dreamboats and Petticoats. With over forty toe tapping hits from the fifties and sixties, it is guaranteed to have you bopping in your seat. It's rather like being at a party, which starts a little hesitantly until all the guests have arrived, and then it's relentless enthusiasm will either leave you exhausted, or begging for more.

The young cast have energy in bucket-loads and deliver on every level.

Dance, song, tenderness, emotion, young love, broken hearts, fight scenes, comedy, it's all there.

This show is groovy baby.

Spamalot review (York)

Went to see Spamalot this week, and it is really funny. Actually it is really, really funny. In fact, I'd go so far as saying, it is really, really, really funny.

Spamalot does not claim to be high theatre, in fact it's as low brow as you can get, but it hits the stage running, and never lets up for a minute. It is relentlessly good fun. Once I started laughing, I don't think I ever stopped. It's daft, it's outrageous, and it's just plain silly, but it never stops being funny.

The music is surprisingly good too, and Bonnie Langford was a revelation to me, she is actually very good! Todd Carty will never win an acting award, but his facial expressions were a treat, especially when King Arthur sings "I'm all alone". Hilarious!

My favorite moment was when King Arthur fights the Dark Knight, and cuts off both his arms. "Come on", says the Dark Knight "I'm not done yet". So King Arthur cuts off both his legs. The Dark Knight thinks for a minute, then says "Best out of three?".

Go and see this show, you will not be disappointed.

Thailand diary

SURIN

BANGKOK

CHANG MAI

CHIANG RAI

Thursday 3 Jan

Travelled by train to Manchester Airport. It was bitterly cold, with snow everywhere. Queued for three hours to get our flight tickets. Flew from Manchester at 9pm to Dubai Airport.

Friday 4 Jan

Arrived at Dubai Airport around 8am local time, and had just enough time to make our connection. Flew from Dubai Airport around 9am local time to Bangkok Airport and arrived in Bangkok around 6pm local time where Rob & Kate were waiting to greet us. We all travelled on to Surin in a people carrier with Kate’s cousin driving. Another 6 hours of travelling. Arrived at the Majestic hotel in Surin around midnight, where we would be staying for the next four nights.

Saturday 5 Jan

We all went to Ban Samit, Kate’s home village to meet her family. Had a walk around the village, enjoyed a meal, and did some Thai dancing.

Kate stayed in the village, and Rob had dinner with us in the evening at the Majestic hotel.

Sunday 6 Jan

Rob & Kate’s wedding day. We got up at 5.30am to get ready for the trip to Ban Samit. Rob’s mate Ollie joined us. We travelled in a pick-up truck with Rob & Ollie in the back. Rob changed into a white suit for the wedding ceremony, with Katy, Ollie and me all dressed in suitable Thai attire. The whole village turned out with gifts of Bananas, Papaya, and meats, including a pig’s head. We all paraded to Kate’s home for the ceremony, with music blaring, drums beating, people singing, chickens flying, and Thai dancing going on all around us. The ceremony took place in front of the entire village, under a marquee at Kate’s home and was presided over by a local priest. After the vows were exchanged, the villagers gave food and money to the newlyweds, and strings were tied around their wrists for good luck. Katy & I also had many strings tied around our wrists too. The happy couple then went to their room to eat the food, while we all crowded around to watch. After the formalities were over the party began and loud music played, while everyone danced.

Later in the day we all returned to the Majestic hotel in Surin for the reception. Once again the whole village came to celebrate. The room was decked out beautifully with a three-tier cake taking pride of place. We all enjoyed a ten course Thai feast, and a free bar. A very pleasant Thai duo entertained us throughout the evening. There were also lots of villagers who were keen to get up and sing, and we presented every singer with flowers taken from the table displays. There were speeches, and candles were ceremoniously lit by Rob & Kate, then Rob cut the cake with a huge sword. After the meal we went through to the karaoke room where we enjoyed more beer and Thai whisky, while everyone, including me, had a go at singing.

Rob arranged for sixteen rooms in the hotel to be available, so that the family could stay overnight.

Monday 7 Jan

We all went to Phanom Rung historical park, along with most of the villagers. Phanom Rung temple stands on the top of an inactive volcano, Phanom Rung means “big mountain” and is approached by way of a grand stone avenue over 150m in length and bordered by small pillars toped with lotus bud finials.

The impressive sandstone and laterite remains have been restored to make Phanom Rung the most impressive and important Khymer temple in Thailand, on a par with Angkor Wat in Cambodia.

At night we had dinner at the Majestic hotel.

Tuesday 8 Jan

We walked around Surin in the morning exploring the town. We checked out of the Majestic hotel, and Katy and I along with Rob and Kate travelled in a taxi to Bangkok, a journey of around 280 miles, which took over 6 hours. We all booked into the Pinnacle Lumpinee hotel and spa, close to Lumphini Park. In the evening we all walked over to the nearby Suan Lum night bazaar, which is devoted entirely to Thai arts and crafts, with an emphasis on quality rather than tourist kitsch. I bought a pair of swimming shorts.

We had a meal at an Italian restaurant, in the night bazaar where we sat outside watching the shoppers hurrying by, and generally soaking up the atmosphere of the busy night market.

Wednesday 9 Jan

 

Kate had to sort out her visa, so Katy, Rob and I took a taxi to Wat Phra Kaew and the Grand Palace. Highly theatrical in appearance, these buildings are frequented by Thai pilgrims as well as sightseers. The psychedelic tones and sheer variety of shimmering shapes are breathtaking, and there is a bewildering array of stupas, mosaics, glittering roof tiles, fabulous images, statues, pillars and pediments that make up this amazing place.

The temple of Wat Phra Kaew is Thailand’s major Buddhist site, and is home to the venerated Emerald Buddha, which is suitably guarded by a series of garishly painted demons. The size of the tiny image of the Emerald Buddha bears no relation to the enormous reverence in which it is held. It is credited with miraculous powers, and was discovered in the 15^th century and kept in Laos for 200 years. Kate joined us at this point and showed us how to show respect to the Emerald Buddha, with flowers, incense, candles and water.

Had a full body massage at the Pinnacle hotel in the afternoon, followed by a sauna, and an open-air rooftop jacuzzi.

At night we all went to Siam Niramit, the must-see show of Thailand. This world-class spectacular show shows the journey to the enchanted kingdom of Siam. The stage of Siam Niramit is certified as the highest in the world, and this spectacular performance of Thailand’s art and cultural heritage, featured amazing state of the art special effects, such as a waterfall and a river with boats on the enormous stage. There were elephants in the audience, goats and chickens on the stage, and elegant aerial dancers. After the show we were able to wander around a Thai village. This was an incredible show, which really was truly unforgettable.

Thursday 10 Jan

Rob and Kate were busy sorting out a new passport and visa for Kate, so Katy and I had the day to ourselves. After breakfast we walked over to Lumphini Park, a vast expanse of green where the sound of traffic is rarely intrusive, a place to seek some respite from urban blues and enjoy some moments of peace and quiet. Lumphini is a relaxing place, dotted with picnic tables, pavilions and shaded areas. We saw Mynah birds and giant lizards, and the statue of King Rama VI, the king who owned the parkland before donating it to the city in 1925.

After several failed attempts to hail a taxi we took the metro to the railway station, where we were able to hire a taxi to take us to the National Museum, Thailand’s foremost museum, full of treasures from prehistoric times onward. Enjoyed a great lunch at the museum café, them strolled round the museum looking at rare Buddha images, rock art, spectacular funeral chariots and many more exciting exhibits.

Got a taxi back to the hotel and had a sauna and a rooftop jacuzzi with Rob.

In the evening we all went to the Patpong area of Bangkok, where we ate in a trendy fusion restaurant called “Eat Me”. I had a tiger prawn dish, which arrived topped with a prawn the size of a lobster! After dinner we walked around Patpong, the red-light area of Bangkok, which also has a thriving night market selling fake designer watches, branded clothes, designer bags and the like. We played pool in one of the many bars, and went to “Dream Boys” where we saw a live gay sex show!

Friday 11 Jan

Kate’s parents arrived in Bangkok in the morning, and all six of us went to Vimanmek Palace, which is the largest golden teak palace in the world. Graceful and airy, this well-crafted house was designed on a grand scale, amid landscaped gardens, and conveys a calm and cultured feel that would have pleased its royal patron. We had a guided tour, which took us through 30 of the 80 rooms in the mansion, including the bathroom which was very modern for it’s time and was the first to have a shower, and was innovative for being inside and not outside the house.

In the afternoon, Kate, Rob and I had a sauna, sat in the steam room, and enjoyed the rooftop jacuzzi back at the hotel.

All six of us had dinner at the hotel, and then Kate, Rob, Katy and I went to Patpong for a few drinks. Kate was not feeling too well, so we all returned to the hotel early.

Saturday 12 Jan

All six of us checked out of the Pinnacle hotel and took a couple of taxis to Don Muang airport in Bangkok. We flew to Chiang Mai airport, a flight of just over an hour. Chiang Mai is northern Thailand’s regional capital and is dubbed “Rose of the North” because of it’s natural beauty and the profusion of flowers that drapes it’s ancient walls and lines most of it’s moat and river bridges. We all checked into the Galare guesthouse by the Ping River.

In the evening we walked to the celebrated night bazaar, Chiang Mai’s top tourist draw, and had a few beers. We played pool and watched live English Premiership football on TV. We also saw some Thai boxing. 

Sunday 13 Jan

All six of us travelled in a songthaew (a cross between a bus and a shared taxi), into Chiang Mai and were dropped off at the city walls where we set out to explore the city on foot. Chiang Mai’s old city is a maze of narrow streets and brick paved lanes leading to ancient wats (temples), quiet monastery gardens, hidden bars, restaurants and boutiques. Most of the major attractions are to be found within the city’s walls and moats. We looked in several temples, most notably Wat Chedi Luang, where the bulky remains of an enormous stupa tower above the park-like monastery grounds in the exact centre of the old city. The leafy temple grounds contain a 35ft long reclining 15^th –century Buddha, his face contemplating the chedi, and a handsome 19^th-century assembly hall. Among the neat little chapels that dot the grounds of the temple is one containing the 13^th-century city pillar and another housing a jolly 15^th-century golden Buddha, his hands clasping his ample belly and an expression of sheer bliss on his broad face. Whilst at the temple we were encouraged to chat with English-speaking monks sitting beneath the trees in the compound, which gave us an amazing insight into their cloistered lives, Buddhism and Thai culture.

In the evening Rob found a very pleasant Thai restaurant for the four of us to eat. Kate’s parent’s stayed behind at the guesthouse. Later on we went to O’Malley’s Irish bar, where we played pool with various strangers, including an Australian girl, and a very loud American man. After that we stumbled into a bar called Guitar Man, where we watched a very good Thai singer/guitarist, followed by an incredible Thai blues band.

Monday 14 Jan

Rob not feeling too well today, so Katy and I had the day to ourselves. We went on a Scorpion –tailed river cruise on the Ping River. This guided trip sailed along the Ping River, right past the Galare guesthouse, and we learned about life a hundred years ago along the riverbanks. The cruise ended at the Scorpion-tailed boat village, where we were served traditional Thai desserts. From there we were taken to the food and flower markets, where we were able to roam around on our own, and enjoy the sights and sounds of this incredibly busy area. We bought a souvenir green Buddha in the city, and we both treated ourselves to a Thai foot massage.

Rob was feeling much better at night, so the four of us went for a meal at the Riverside bar and restaurant, which we had spotted from the boat earlier in the day. Chiang Mai’s “tuppies” (Thai yuppies) pack this sprawling riverside bar and restaurant every night. They love its mix of Thai and Western music, played by live bands. We ate at an outside table on the riverbank.

Tuesday 15 Jan

Rob chartered a 10-seater car for a two-day trip to the northern borders of Thailand. Our first stop was at a market where I bought a Thai silk shirt. We also saw the hot springs where water comes bubbling out of the ground at a temperature of 89 degrees centigrade, and you can hard boil an egg in just 11 minutes. Our next stop was an incredible Buddhist temple called wat rong khun, near to Chiang Rai, which is different from any other temple in Thailand as it is completely white in colour. The whiteness represents Lord Buddha’s purity and wisdom, which shines brightly all over the world and the universe. The temple was only completed in 2008 and was ten years in construction. All the paintings in the assembly hall have golden tones, and I bought a print to bring home as a souvenir.

After visiting another Wat Chedi Luang we then arrived at Sop Ruak, an undistinguished frontier town on the banks of the Mekong River. Sop Ruak claims to be the gateway to Thailand’s fabled golden triangle, a large region covering border areas of Thailand, Myanmar (Burma), and Laos or to the point where the frontiers meet at the confluence of the Mekong and Ruak rivers.
We hired a couple of motorised narrow boats and sped down the Mekong River, until we docked at Laos. Upon disembarking we were greeted by begging children, women selling silks, men selling snake whisky, and we also saw a black bear.

Back on the boat we were taken down the river until we could see Myanmar (Burma), then we turned around and came back down the river where we were dropped off at the huge golden Buddha statue. This amazing sight was simply breathtaking as the big Buddha, is sitting in an equally enormous boat. After a refreshing drink of coconut juice we were on our way again, this time to Mae Sai, a dusty frontier town and the northernmost point of Thailand, which connects with a short bridge to neighbouring Myanmar (Burma). After taking pictures of the bridge and the border crossing, (we were not allowed into Myanmar), we visited a jade factory. We eventually arrived in Chiang Rai where we stayed the night at the Moon and Sun hotel. Chiang Rai is Thailand’s northernmost city. In the evening we went to Cabbages and Condoms for dinner. A quirky restaurant, with great food. After dinner we went to the Tee Pee bar, where we sat on rugs on the floor, drinking Mekong whisky, and watching Woodstock on the TV.

Wednesday 16 Jan

 After breakfast in the Moon and Sun hotel, the six of us set off on our travels again. A rugged drive up a steep track led us to the home village of the Karen longnecks, a hillside tribe of long-necked women. These are the ladies, and even girls, who wear a stack of rings around their necks. At one time the solid metal coils were thought to be protective against tiger attacks. Katy and I both bought a silk scarf from one of the Karen longnecks.

We then journeyed on to Doi Mae Salong, a remote mountain community in the far north of Thailand, which was settled some 50 years ago by a Nationalist Army regiment fleeing from Mao Tse Tung’s communist forces in China’s civil war. As a result the town has a distinctly Chinese character. After a delightful cup of green tea, we carried on our travels. Next stop was Doi Tung royal villa, the Princess Mother’s villa, which sits near the summit of the Doi Tung mountain, overlooking coffee plantations, nurseries and workshops where hill-tribe farmers are being weaned away from opium cultivation, by producing traditional textiles, carpets, and ceramics. The villa itself was where the King’s mother lived and worked while in residence in Chiang Rai. The legend of Doi Tung tells the story of King Lawacahkalaj coming down from heaven on a silver ladder. His purpose was to protect and uphold the Buddhist religion. The mountain upon which he appeared became known as Doi Tung, which translates as “Mountain of the holy banner”. We also strolled around the impressively beautiful Mae Fah Luang gardens. After a long drive we eventually arrived back at the Galare guesthouse in Chiang Mai. After a rest we went out on the town and ended up playing pool with a young English couple, in the Cosy Corner bar, where an elephant with its handler passed by.

Thursday 17 Jan

Rob chartered a red songthaew for the day for the six of us and we set off to Doi Suthep’s mountaintop temple, which is one of northern Thailand’s most revered places of pilgrimage. Doi Suthep itself is one of Chiang Mai’s “guardian” mountains, some 5,000ft high, and it is said that an elephant carrying a Buddha relic was led up the mountain, and on the ridge where it first stopped a chedi was built to contain the sacred object. A community of monks later built a temple there. The broad leafy terrace of the temple complex sits like a shelf below the summit of Doi Suthep and commands a spectacular view of Chiang Mai below. The extensive temple ensemble of chapels, assembly halls, chedis, Buddha images and frescoed cloisters took shape over the past seven centuries. We took the cable car from the parking area to the temple, but walked down the 306 steps on the way back, where we saw the NAGA balustrade, and some children dressed in beautiful tradition dress. We bought a couple of silk prints to bring home, and were hounded by ladies trying to sell us more all the way back to the songthaew.

We then travelled on to the National Park where Kate hired a rug for us to sit on near a magical waterfall. Katy and I sat on the rug trying desperately not to slide into the water, whilst Kate and Rob went exploring close up to the cascading waters.

The songthaew then took us on a shopping tour where we visited lots of enormous stores, one of which was the biggest jewellery store in the world. Another was Shinawatra Thai Silk, where we were given a welcoming cold drink upon arrival. Katy, needless to say, bought lots of Thai silk.

After another hectic day, we spent our last night in Thailand at a fine restaurant, Antique House. The suitably named Antique House built in 1870, is one of Chiang Mai’s few buildings under an official protection order. The main dining area is a relatively modern extension, but the setting is authentic Lanna. We sat outside listening a wonderful Thai singer, playing guitar and singing lots of James Taylor songs. Magic. We even bought some flowers from a beggar boy who came to the table. After dinner we went to the rooftop bar, where we climbed five flights of stairs, to sit on rugs on the roof of this trendy bar. We later went on to Saks bar, and the gloriously named Ba Ba Bo Bo bar.

Friday 18 Jan

 Our last day in Thailand so we went to the “Let’s Relax” spa for a one-hour body scrub, followed by a relaxing one-hour massage. Then back to the guesthouse to finish packing, ready for our journey home. First trip was a short taxi ride to Chiang Mai airport, where we flew back to Don Muang airport in Bangkok. Here we said our goodbyes to Rob and Kate and her parents. Katy and I then took a taxi across Bangkok to Suvarnabhumi airport where we enjoyed a pleasant meal in a smart airport restaurant, while we waited for our flight to Dubai.

Saturday 19 Jan

We flew out of Suvarnabhumi airport around 1.30am and landed in Dubai airport around 5am local time. We had to wait in Dubai airport or around nine and a half hours. We passed the time looking round the shops, and snoozing. We were given a complimentary breakfast by the airline, which passed another hour. We eventually flew out of Dubai around 2.30pm and landed in Manchester airport at around 6pm in UK time. Needless to say, it was raining! We caught a direct train to Scarborough, and arrived home around midnight. A total of around 39 hours for the return journey from door to door.

 

London trip (James Bond weekend).

The names Dove, Martin Dove! Sorry about that, but I’m just back from my Bond about town weekend in London, a terrific comping win courtesy of Penguin books.

My wife Katy and I travelled down from our home in North Yorkshire on the Saturday morning, and the day did not start off all that well as our train was delayed by forty five minutes due to a local farmers sheep getting loose and munching grass in-between the train lines!

When we finally reached Kings Cross station I could not believe the crowds of people. I know London is busy, but I had to queue for ten minutes just to buy a ticket for the tube. When we got to the correct platform, we tried in vain to board the train, but to no avail, there simply wasn’t room for anyone. Passengers were crammed in like sardines in a can.

At last we reached Dukes hotel in fashionable St James, a trendy five star hotel. The complimentary chocolates went down well after a power shower, as Katy and myself lounged on the king sized bed in our fluffy dressing gowns, kindly provided by the hotel.

Not much time to rest though as I had a wet shave booked for four o’clock, and Katy was booked in for a manicure. My shave was at the global headquarters of Truefitt & Hill, a traditional barbershop situated on St James’s Street. Now I don’t know if you’ve ever had a towel wet shave but this was a new experience for me and it’s not one that I would care to repeat in a hurry! When the hot towel was placed on my face I nearly jumped clean out of my barbershop chair. Boy, it was hot! Apart from the scalding sensation, I felt that I couldn’t breathe and ripped off my protective gown and pulled the hot towel off my face. “Are you alright sir?” enquired the barber. “Too hot for you, sir?” After explaining to the startled chap that this was my first ever hot shave, we progressed to the next stage, the lathering up followed by the cutthroat razor. I couldn’t get Sweeney Todd out of my mind and sat rigid in my chair. “Relax sir,” intoned the man with the razor, and I managed to get the demon barber briefly out of mind. The trouble was that I then pictured all those Wild West movies where the gunslinger is having a shave, when the local sheriff comes in. The guy in the chair always has his six-shooter on his lap and invariably is fastest on the draw. This thought make me chuckle, which was not advisable with a cutthroat razor at your neck! Just when I thought it was all over I relaxed and drew a deep breath. Unfortunately at the very same moment the barber sprayed my face with expensive cologne. Now this stuff is fine when it’s on your face, but not when you inhale it deeply!

I think the poor chap would need a long lie down after my visit, I know I did!

Katy’s experience was less eventful than mine, and she was keen to give her Miss Moneypenny manicure an airing along Piccadilly. She had been told not to touch anything for half an hour though, so I put her coat around her shoulders, as she couldn’t get her arms through the armholes.

I thought it was great that she couldn’t touch anything as she couldn’t pick anything up in the shops, and as such was unable to buy anything.

In the evening we had a Martini master class. Dukes hotel make the best Martinis in the world, and Ian Fleming was a regular visitor, and it was in this very bar that he created the famous line “A Martini, shaken not stirred”.

The master class involved the white-coated barman showing us the secret of making a good Martini. It struck me that it basically involved a very healthy slug of Vodka with a shot of vermouth. When I tasted the cocktail it was reminiscent of the hot towel experience from earlier! My mouth felt like an active volcano, and steam came out of my ears. Wow, it was strong!

How James Bond managed to save the world after a couple of these drinks, I will never know. It took me all my time to get from the bar to the Dining Room.

I think the meal was delicious, but after a complimentary bottle of fine wine on top of the Martini, I could have eaten the tablecloth and the napkin and not been any wiser!

After dinner we went for a walk to see the lights on Regent Street, and the crowds even at midnight were just as manic as they were at Kings Cross twelve hours earlier.

London, a crazy city, but I still love it as much as I did forty years ago when I lived there as a young man.

Cheers Penguin for a fabulous weekend. It was certainly an experience I will never forget.